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(no subject) [Jun. 27th, 2007|04:01 pm]
"There was a time whent he lies rolled off my tongue with ease, when it was far more important to me to self-destruct than to admit I had a problem, let alone allow anyone to help"

"One's woth is exponentially increased with one's incermental disappearance"

"And so I went through the looking glass, stepped into the netherworld, where up is down and food is greed, where convex mirrors cover the walls, where death is honor and flesh is weak. It is ever so easy to go. Harder to find your way back"

"The parallels in my approach to food and my body are striking: bulimia, feasting on food and then throwing it back; anorexia, refusing food and feasting on hunger itself"

"Be whatever you want, but don't let anyone see"

"Hungry was the same as lonely, and not-hungry wast he same as scared"

"Focusing instead on the sensations of hunger, the lovely spinning feeling in my head,the way i would veer in and out of conversations. While my mouth jabbered, my eyes wandered off into space as my thoughts returned to the ache in the pit of my stomach, the heart-pounding feeling of absolute power."

"I thought:I'm fat. If the terror would not go down, I'd promsise myself: no food tommorow. None. That let me breathe a little easier. The punishment seemed just, seemd as if it might make things better, more organized, the calming twist of hunger in the chest might remind me that things were all right"

"When you coast without eating for a significant amount of time, and you are still alive, you begin to scoff at those fools who believe they must eat to live. It seems blatantly obvious to you that this is not true. You get up in the morning, you do your work, you run, you do not eat, you live"

"We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how to not-need"

"Some of us decide to take a shortcut, decide the world is too much or too little, death is so easy, so smiling, so simple; and death is dramatic, a final fuck-you to the world"

"I had this idea in my head that dying would be lovely, a simple loosening of the ankle shackles that held me to the ground. I would lift off into the ksy, float over the iced white streets, yes, that was death, and I was a princess trapped in a cage, dying of a borken heart."

"I still had my eating disorder, and therefore I still had myself"

"A horrible paradox was running my life, and to some extent runs it still: My only means of self-regulation was self-destruction."

"Carving away at the body to-symbolically and literally-carve up an imperfect soul."

"Very shortly after that, everything fell apart. Again. I'd been able to pretend, up to that point, that nothign was really wrong, not seriously wrong anyway. That ended."

"When I became seriously anoretic for the first time, it was the first time in my life when I was not afraid for myself. Fucked up, sure. But from then on out, I would always connect my ability to get control over my rampant needs and desires to my ability to starve."

"My desire to leave Minneapolis, and my family, may actually have been a desire to leave me behind and become someone else."

"Success meant a perfect career, perfect relationships, perfect control over my life and myself--all of which depened on a perfect me, which depended in turn on me living inside a perfect body."
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reasons not to eat [Oct. 1st, 2006|10:10 pm]

1. You will be FAT if you eat today. Just put it off one more day.

2. You don't NEED food. The human body can go 70 days without food.

3. Fat people can't fit everywhere.

4. Guys will be able to pick you up without struggling.

5. You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight holding you back.

6. People will remember you as the 'beautiful thin one.'

7. If someone has to describe you, they'll say, 'oh, she weighs like nothing.'

8. Guys will want to get to know you, not laugh at you and walk away.

9. Starving is an example of excellent willpower.

10. You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.

11. Bones are clean and pure. Fat is dirty and hangs on your bones like a parasite.

12. If you eat, you'll look like those disgusting, fat, ghetto and trailer-trash hookers on Jerry Springer.

13. The models that everyone claims are beautiful, the spitting image of perfection, are any of them fat? ... NO....

14. Too many people in America are obese.

15. People who eat are selfish and unrealistic.

16. Only fat people are attracted to fat people. Do you want pigs to like you because you are one of them?

17. Anyone can have 'inner beauty, ' but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.

18. You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.

19. Only thin people are graceful.

20. If you slap a fat person, you can see a shockwave ripple over their skin. That's disgusting.

21. Do you want people to say, 'For god's sake get off of me, you're crushing me; I can't breathe!' or 'You are soo light.' ????

22. Underweight, a.k.a. perfect body.

23. Ballerina? Or beanbag?

24. I want to be light enough so a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds.

25. I want to walk in the snow and leave no footprints.

26. Starve off the parts you don't need. They're ugly and drag you down.

27. Nothing can't be fixed with hunger and weightloss.

28. Saying 'No, thanks, ' to food is saying 'Yes, please, ' to THIN!

29. Fat people are so huge, people see through them and it's like they don't exist.

30. The only time people notice a fat person is when they get in the way of that beautiful thin girl walking by.

31. There are starving kids in Africa.

32. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

33. Is food more important than happiness in life? Your appearance to others?

34. Eating is conforming.

35. When you start to get dizzy and weak, you're almost there.

36. Hunger is your friend and it won't betray you like food.

37. Food is mean and sneaky. It tricks you into eating it and it works on you from the inside out, making you fat, bloated, ugly, and unhappy.

38. Think of anorexia as your secret weapon.

39. If you can name one reason to be fat, I will name a million to be skinny. I'll name them even if you can't find a reason to be fat.

40. Thin people look good in ANY kind of clothing.
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